I am going to spare you the March came in like a lion joke, which seems to be almost obligatory for news sources who are covering the fact that here in New England, we just had a friggin Blizzard! What the hell! I am totally going down to Pennsylvania and am going to kick that ground hog's ass!
Ok, I shouldn't be this pissed off. I'm a New England native, and late snowstorms are pretty common here. I can also take this time to catch up on my work and to plan my lessons. But this winter set on early, and I was hoping it would go out in the same way. However, just like that drunk who comes early to your party to start in on your booze, now, at 3 am, old man winter is asking where we keep our bourbon.
At least school is cancelled so I have a chance to simultaneously get work done and melt my brain with some daytime TV. While looking at school closings in my area, this segment came on the TV. Now it is no secret that I have long sought after the secret to un-frizz my hair, but some of these products are just too much.
Is the battle against gingivitis keeping you up at night? We finally have a solution: Pearly Dreams. No, this is not a porn website or a Chinese restaurant, instead it is a product which combines the minty freshness of toothpaste with the soul crushing addiction of sleep medication. You will never forget to brush your teeth again.
I don't know why no one thought of this before. Huge Lips is a lip plumper that includes an appetite suppressant. This is great, I quote 'beauty expert' Jenn Falik "...just bring it to a cocktail party, keep applying it and you will leave skinnier than you came." and Today Show: "...I think I might be having an allergic reaction." That's right ladies, you can now hide your anorexia behind Angelina Jollie-size lips. Jenn should totally be an expert in looking sexy : "Just apply and tell yourself not to eat!"
For our last product today, we talk about WrinkleFree Eyes. These little plastic patches go under your eyes, and while you sleep, they zap the bajeezes out of your crows-feet. Is there any problem a few volts of electricity can't fix? It's like electro-shock therapy, but for your wrinkles! Don't take my word for it, Jenn gives a stunning review: "I tried it, and I can still see!"
Now if you don't mind there is a man with a plow trying to kick me out of my parking space.
Ok, I shouldn't be this pissed off. I'm a New England native, and late snowstorms are pretty common here. I can also take this time to catch up on my work and to plan my lessons. But this winter set on early, and I was hoping it would go out in the same way. However, just like that drunk who comes early to your party to start in on your booze, now, at 3 am, old man winter is asking where we keep our bourbon.
At least school is cancelled so I have a chance to simultaneously get work done and melt my brain with some daytime TV. While looking at school closings in my area, this segment came on the TV. Now it is no secret that I have long sought after the secret to un-frizz my hair, but some of these products are just too much.
Is the battle against gingivitis keeping you up at night? We finally have a solution: Pearly Dreams. No, this is not a porn website or a Chinese restaurant, instead it is a product which combines the minty freshness of toothpaste with the soul crushing addiction of sleep medication. You will never forget to brush your teeth again.
I don't know why no one thought of this before. Huge Lips is a lip plumper that includes an appetite suppressant. This is great, I quote 'beauty expert' Jenn Falik "...just bring it to a cocktail party, keep applying it and you will leave skinnier than you came." and Today Show: "...I think I might be having an allergic reaction." That's right ladies, you can now hide your anorexia behind Angelina Jollie-size lips. Jenn should totally be an expert in looking sexy : "Just apply and tell yourself not to eat!"
For our last product today, we talk about WrinkleFree Eyes. These little plastic patches go under your eyes, and while you sleep, they zap the bajeezes out of your crows-feet. Is there any problem a few volts of electricity can't fix? It's like electro-shock therapy, but for your wrinkles! Don't take my word for it, Jenn gives a stunning review: "I tried it, and I can still see!"
Now if you don't mind there is a man with a plow trying to kick me out of my parking space.
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