I'll admit, I do check Facebook more than I should. I'd quit it, but I don't want to right now...YOU CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
How else will I know when my friends have headaches, have a paper due, or are happy such and such football/baseball/basketball/rugy team won? How? How will I survive without seeing pictures of so and so's new dog or one of my former bosses getting completely wasted at a wedding?
My anxiety related neurodermatitis is acting up simply at the thought at not receiving at least one Mafia Wars invitation every day or knowing how many people might be attending the "Find the Penguin" event at the LSE or being able to read 25 "random" facts about each of my friends.
Do you remember a time when we didn't need to know every single detail of our friends' lives? When we could remember a friend without associating them with their overy glittery Myspace page (which also played the same stupid indie song over and over again)? Remember when contacting a new friend or a crush was a challenge? A guy I liked in high school found my AIM* screen name through a friend of a friend and I was ecstatic! The lengths he had to go to just to send me, "Hey wut's up? How's your summer?" My initial reaction of, "Holy crap, who is this person? Do I know him or her?" And then when I find out, "OMG!!!!"
Now just imagine if this same event had gone down over Facebook.
10:15am: OMG! Crushface just friended me!
10:16am: Oh, he also just friended like 10 other people
10:30am: Why is he writing on her wall? He hasn't written on my wall yet.
11:15am: Who is that girl that tagged him in this photo? Why is he having so much fun with her? He just added me, that means he likes me right? Or that he at least thought of me? Right? Right?
11:17am: So I deduced from the friends that they have in common, this mysterious girl is really his cousin.
1:29pm: Oh no! Crushface is now listed as being in a relationship! Tenth grade is ruined!
1:31pm: Oh, he's in one of those fake relationships with his best guy friend. *Sigh.*
2:00pm: He likes that band? Wow, I just lost a lot of respect for him. But, whoah, we have, like, all the same favorite TV shows!
The next day at school:
Me to friend while Crushface walks past: Wow, I can't believe that happened on such and such show last night!
Crushface: You watch that show? That is my favorite!
Me: Really? I had NO idea! That is cool!
CF: Yeah, my cousin introduced it to me over the summer. We went to the beach for a week, but it rained.
Me: I know, I saw the pics..I mean, crap, oh really? That's cool.
And this is how the world will end. People such as myself, who are already prone to anxiety, will become even more so until we all pull out our hair and go Why did that person defriend me?!! No!! I want to be in your top 8!!! Why would she update her status but not respond to my message?
Social network sites destroy hope and real curiosity. In high school I never knew all the top gossip, mostly because I didn't care. I'd find out months later that people were dating, had broken up, etc. Now I know everything and still don't really care but find myself learning more and more. It was great thinking that Crushface had a crush on me too. The only crazy thoughts I could get were created by me, and not his status updates or comments on his wall. It was awesome.
Oh, and people can get famous for doing absolutely nothing, like this girl in Argentina. I tried to figure out why this 17 year old is famous and discovered that she didn't really do much. She just got a ton of comments on her fotolog page. This is just nuts. The NY Times article explains that she gets paid to show up to events and promote products. She gets to stay in 5 star hotels and travels everywhere for free. Okay, I wonder if I could become world famous if I update my Facebook status every minute of every day? No?
In another news, Follow Rageoline on twitter!
*For those too old to know, (or too young and hip) AIM stands for AOL (America Online) Instant Messenger
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