Sunday, March 1, 2009

Some days I feel like Mugatu

Okay, so I didn't invent the piano key neck tie, or try to kill the Malaysian prime minister, but I can definitely relate to his "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" moment:

Mugatu's feelings about Derek Zoolander's facial expressions pretty much sum up how I feel about U2. Maybe my strong dislike for them stems from the fact that when I was little, my dad only listened to about seven bands/artists: U2, REM, Eric Clapton, Leonard Cohen, Paul Simon, Rod Stewart, and anything involving Mick Jagger. And by only thing he would listen to, I really mean that these were the only musicians he would listen to. Okay, so maybe you could slip some Phil Collins and David Bowie in there for brief periods of time, but they weren't as long lasting. From about 1989 until 2005 those were the only bands I would hear every time I got in his car. For whatever reason, I always hated U2 more than the rest. I remember going to homeroom one day in 4th grade and hearing my teacher and some of my classmates going, "Let's listen to U2!! They are so awesome!!!" My immediate reaction was, "What? That is definitely old people music." Even in 4th grade I thought their music was repetitive and tedious.

And now many years have passed and has U2 disappeared like they should have? No. Has their music evolved or gotten better? No. In fact, it's gotten worse, although there may have been a slight improvement since their super crappy period at the end of the '90s (remember Sweetest Thing?). People are obsessed with this band and I just don't get it! I have only heard the single off the new album and it sounds exactly like all their other music! Why do they get all this attention? Why do they get to play on David Letterman every single night in a week? "Secret" concert on a rooftop in London? Okay, that is kind of cool, but I'm still not sure they're worth it. Bono is a complete douchebag. Maybe he has done a lot of good for the world, but he's also ridiculously full of himself, or at least that's the impression I've gotten since I was little. Every single live performance I've seen on TV has involved him getting all up in the camera. He owns a hotel in Dublin and got caught smoking in it after the ban was put in place. Douche. Need more proof? Watch this. Not only do U2 and Greenday manage to destroy a great song, they also demonstrate a completely unrealistic understanding of how the world should be saved!

Every song is exactly the same. Every single one. See for yourself.

Sunday Bloody Sunday-1983

New Year's Day-1983

Where the Streets Have No Name-1987

I Still Haven't Found what I'm Looking for-1987 (unfortunately, this song will forever be linked to some of my memories from when I was 10)

Mysterious Ways-1991

Staring at the Sun-1997 (yuck)

Sweetest Thing-originally from the '80s, re-released in 1998

Beautiful Day-2000 I have a really hard time distinguishing this song from a lot of their others. It also sounds like something Coldplay completely ripped off.

Elevation-2000, My dad made me listen to the album this was on over and over again on a long car ride and I haven't fully recovered yet.

Vertigo-2004 For a long time I thought this and Elevation were the same song

Get on Your Boots-2009 This sounds a bit more like some of the older stuff, which isn't really that different from the newer stuff. Dumb.

Maybe I'm just nuts, but I'm not hearing a huge difference between this new Boots song and something like Mysterious Ways. Or Beautiful Day and Sweetest Thing. Even Mick Jagger's music has changed more in the last 20 years. Will the band ever break up or do I have to wait for Bono to kick it?

No comments: