Are the Oscar folks caving to peer pressure?

Granted I haven't yet watched the Oscars this year, nor have I seen the majority of the nominated movies, but something just doesn't feel right about a lot of the results (and nominations). The two awards I agree with, although I haven't seen more than a few clips from the movies, are Sean Penn for Milk and Kate Winslet for the Reader. But Slumdog for best picture? Heath Ledger for best supporting actor? Penelope Cruz for best supporting actress? Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. nominated for his role in Tropic Thunder? Either the Oscars are really trying to please everyone this year or the other movies must have really sucked.

Don't get me wrong, I really loved Slumdog Millionaire. It was sad, happy, and everything in between. The story was heartwarming and the characters were great, so was the music and cinematography. But it was ridiculously cheezy and unbelievable, or at least the whole destiny crap was. Some parts were pretty predictable and by the end I wanted to scream when they showed that scene of Latika at the train station for the 8 bajillionth time. I left the movie feeling happy I'd seen it, and did recommend it to a few people. But I wasn't going around saying, "You MUST see this movie immediately!!!" like I did after seeing No Country For Old Men last year. So either the Oscar folks were afraid that the world would egg their houses if they rejected it, or perhaps they simply wanted to pick a feel good movie (if death and betrayal make you feel good) since we're living in some fairly depressing times. 

Heath Ledger did a great job in the Dark Knight, but I'm sure the other actors did great jobs in their respective movies as well. I kind of feel like if Ledger hadn't died, his nomination would have been similar to Johnny Depp's nomination in Pirates of the Caribbean. A nice head nod of appreciation but no real expectation that he would win. Although, looking at the other nominees, everyone else looks boring-oh and Robert Downey Jr. is in this category too. What competition! Would he have won if he hadn't died? Maybe, but I'm not so sure. And once he was nominated, how could he ever lose? 

Penelope Cruz's win really pisses me off. Marisa Tomei did a great job in the Wrestler, but the writing for her part sucked so she didn't have a great chance of winning. But I've heard that Amy Adams and Taraji P. Henson did great jobs in their roles! And Penelope Cruz? She played the same part she's played a million times. Crazy Spanish woman who seduces main character, comes off as kind of evil, and then shows that she has her weaknesses so that we all fall in love with her? Oh I've seen that one! Was it Blow? Or was it perhaps the Italian Non ti muovere? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the one (although Cruz is technically supposed to be Italian, not Spanish, in this movie)

So kids, this year's Oscar lesson: You too can win awards if you just remember to take too many sleeping pills and play the same role again and again until someone eventually pays attention to you.

Statues of Naked People

February is a surprisingly good month for TV. The prime time season is in full swing, and they have moved on from unveiling new characters to giving hints as to whom they are going to kill off for the season finale. The biggest night on television is this weekend, the Super Bowl, where the nations companies compete to see who can make the best 30 sec video. However, there is another film-making competition, later this month: the 81^st Academy Awards. (Right: Jarvier Bardem tries to give Oscar a boner)

This mother of all award shows, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences' annual presentation ceremony dwarfs all other awards. The Golden Globes can't possibly compete and the Grammies are nothing but more proof that Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences is just a party school (Yale to AMPAS' Harvard). There is no greater display of opulence than watching the red carpet to see who Jennifer Antison is wearing, and whom Billy Bob Thorton is wearing!

In honour of this great sceptical, I am going to help feed your gambling addiction by making forecasts as to who is going to win what. So grab some pop-corn, call your bookie, and bask in my wisdom. I will tell you who is going to get their hand on that fabulous golden naked man.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
While Taraji Henson probably gave the only noteworthy performance in Benjamin Button, I'm going to go with Amy Adams: "What's that Mr. Squirrel? Philip Seymour Hoffman is putting his thing up little boys rectories? Oh my!"

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
While Josh Brolin is over-due for one of these things, the Academy doesn't seem to have their head on straight for this category: They receive an epic fail with Robert Downey jr as their token minority pick. And while Philip Seymour Hoffman touched me with his part in Doubt, being killed by an Olsen twin will give Heath Ledger the edge he needs.

Best Actress in a leading Role
Since Bride Wars bombed so bad, I'm assuming that Ann Hathaway is nominated for Get Smart, which she was out-shown by Steve Carell, The Rock, Alan Arkin, and that little Asian dude from Heroes. And while Kate Winslet is on a roll (role?) this year, Catholic is a slightly lesser evil than Nazi Guard/Pedophile in Hollywood. So the Oscar goes to Meryl Streep.


Best Actor in a Leading Role
I have no idea who The Visitor is, so I assume what's his face is not going to get it, and there is no way that a guy playing Richard Nixon will get it (those wounds are far too fresh). Mickey Rourke won the Golden Globe, and that is a dumb award, so nope. While Sean Penn won the Screen Actors Guild Award, the Academy are pussies when it comes to political issues, and thus will pass up Milk for the sadly predictable Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button. In Brads defence, I haven't seen narration like that since Ron Howard on Arrested Developement.

Best Picture
There has been a lot of buzz about Slumdog Millionaire, the movie which has been a breath of Bollywood air on this rather stale season. Slumdog will definitely sweep the Original Song, and original score for their deft use of MIA. However, I'm going to say that Benjamin Button is going to win, because the Academy is boring.

I could go on to call things like Best Sound Mixing or editing, but who knows what any of these things mean (What the hell is a Foreign Film?). So I will have to leave you with these predictions and let time test my knowledge of Hollywood.

Dark Knight, another terrible movie

This weekend, I ventured to the movie theater where I watched, accompanied only by a tumble weed, the silver screen equivalent of Moose Murders, the new installment in the trite Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. The movie makers rushed this film so much in hopes of making a quick buck, that they practically caused the death of actor Heath Ledger. I don't completely understand all the hype over this young man, if Danny DiVito had died in the post-production of Batman Returns you wouldn't have cared.

One sign of a rushed movie, is that they decided to reuse the overdone villain the Joker. While the Joker is Batman's original and defining nemesis, there are no shortages of portrayals of this white-faced mass murderer, and there are so many other colorful villains and the Batman pantheon to draw form. After dipping into the lesser know characters, Ras Al Ghul and The Scarecrow, for Batman Begins I was hoping that Hollywood would be ready to bring some of Batman's adversaries to light.

Imagine, if instead of Heath Ledgers horrifying face appearing on the screen, we were treated to another portrayal of the classic character Clayface. This animated tennis court was once an actor but because of his dependence on an experimental cosmetic product transforms into a giant autonomous clay figure. The emotional range it takes to portray the desperation and the anguish that this character goes through, would require an actor of at least the caliber of Kenneth Branaugh.


I'm sure, like all bad movies, that there will of course be a sequel. Maybe they'll choose to remake more villains from the other movies, such as Mr Freeze, the tragic story of boy meets girl, girl dies, boy uses his advanced knowledge of cryogenics to kill people, later becoming governor of California. Or Poison Ivy, whose magical vagina always seems to come between Batman and his trusty sidekick, Robin. Maybe they'll try to revitalize this movie series by introducing to always fresh character Batgirl!

Interestingly enough, the movie grossed 155 Million dollars over the weekend, that must have been one wealthy tumble weed.