There is no air conditioning in my apartment, so naturally I have been doing pretty much anything to stay out of the heat. This means spending hours in Starbucks, at the supermarket, and going to movies, even if they are bad. So, In tonight's feature, I sum up the pain that I have felt from the third row of the AMC Cinema in Kenmore square.
Indiana Jones and the Legend of Pickle Shaped Skulls (PG 13)
A taste of the good old days, when movies were simple and adventurous, and did not carry any regard for foreign cultures or physics or the fact that refrigerators can't open from the inside. Way to make money George Lucas!
Why is Harrison Ford still so damn beautiful?
You Don't Mess With the Happy Gilmore (PG13 because the kids are alright)
A buffed up Adam Sandler sensitively shows that even if you are a soldier who knows nothing but war, you can still achieve your dreams... as long as you have sex with enough old ladies. I can smell the Oscar from here.
Wanted (R for pointless cursing, violence, and really skinny people)
A movie that sets the bar just high enough to smack its face into. I will use basic math to explain how bad this movie is:
Wanted = Fight Club + Matrix = Why did you think this was a good idea?
James MacAvoy ≠ Badass
Angelina Jolie = ± A Zombie
What have you done lately?
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