Rage Down: Fake Fake Doctors and Women with Balls

I haven't posted a while, so today I bring you a fast breaking rage straight to whatever you kids are tweeting with these days.

First, Dr House M.D. completely defied me with who they decided to kill off this season. I won't give anything away, but it suffices to say that I assume they made this decision because the actor left to pursue his career (and only one actor on that show has a career). Now I'm not counting myself out just yet, maybe the writers on House will take a page out of J.K. Rowling's books and keep one-upping themselves. So this season, two people will die. Next season, a character people actually care about will die. Finally, for the series finale, Hugh Laurie will have to diagnose patients while dodging the frightful curses of Lord Voldemort, who has been brought back from the dead with the blood of Omar Epps.

Now, completely changing pace, lets talk about basketball. This weekend, the Huskies (men) were kicked out of the NCAA finals by Michigan State University. If you ask me, Detroit needs to spend less time training basketballers and more time teaching them how to make cars that run for more than four years. What are we here at Uconn going to do without our boys! All we have left is the best womens team in NCAA history. Great! That is like being the winner of the talent portion of the Miss America Pageant! I don't care how smart, beautiful and talented they are, if they aren't going to run off to the NBA before graduating, I'm just not interested.

Finally, I'd would like to take a second to say: Banana Nut Cheerios... teehee.

Hugh Laurie Saves Wallstreet

I'm sorry I have not posted for quite the while, I have been in a coma for a few weeks. The last thing I can remember is hearing some weird name... Sarah Palin or something like that. Apparently I had a brain hemorrhage and almost died. But I'm alive, and not brain damaged enough to be able to post to this blog!

I came to today to see the following headline: Bush Signs Rescue Bill After House Votes. I don't read actual articles, because journalism make me mad... I don't believe in journals. Apparently Dr. House, hopped on his motorcycle and rode down to Washington to have an emergency summit with President Bush.

"At first I thought that the financial crisis was caused by lupus, but then I realized that Wallstreet just needed a money enema." Said Dr House when approached by reporters.

According to unnamed sources, Bush was reluctant to agree to Greg's radical treatment regiment, but was swayed by a combination of his maverick spirit and tight jeans. Also, John McCain, feeling the mavericism, suspended his campaign for an unprecedented seventh time since he hit the trail (in 1832). McCain arrived just in time to see House speed off on his motorcycle.

Upon returning to New York, House delivered the money to Wallstreet, stopping briefly to slap Warren Buffet with a stack of 100-dollar bills.